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Finding A Partner Who Wants What We Have

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by Debi Cushman
on October 15, 2023

I'm not a '10', are you?

Very handsome young movie star facing the camera

The fact is, 95% of us aren't even '9's.  Everywhere we look, we are reminded of this fact by media personalities with stunning looks, captivating wit, charisma, and magnetic personalities.  Everyone likes them, they're rich, famous, and can date anyone they want to.

While amazing looks and personality are certainly advantageous, they are not the only things that attract a mate.  Look at all the 'ugly' people with good-looking partners, the 'losers' who somehow got lucky, and those dating someone half their age.

Then look at all the '9' and '10' couples who cheat on each other and break up.

Clearly, there is something more to it.

Dating above your league

Busty young woman standing, older man sitting holding drink, in restaurant

What could make a '9' interested in a '5'?  Well, money and status of course, or a heart of gold, or a desirable body (not face).  Let's talk about what can be seen with our eyes because initial attraction – that first impression – generally occurs from a distance.

Money and status are usually quite obvious, and easy to show off if that is how you want to get a date.  A good heart, on the other hand, is impossible to detect and therefore not part of initial attraction.

I will focus on having desirable physical features, which is a gray zone: Some are noticeable even when covered by clothes (but are they real?), while others are completely hidden.  We might want to exhibit them, but polite society and various laws prevent this.

Whether you are tall, muscular, have bumps or curves in the right places, or something else less noticeable, it might be your ticket to dating above your station.

What if I'm short, unattractive, poor, no personality, with a plain body?

In that case you drew a short straw in the cosmic lottery and either have a lot of work to do, or need to accept a below-average partner!

The power of physical attraction

Closeup of man in swimsuit showing chest and front bulge

Not only does physical/sexual attraction play a major role in the initial stages of romantic interest, it can also be the most important factor for some.

Most of us have our preferences when it comes to body characteristics.  We would prefer someone who has X or Y, but we are willing to forego those preferences if we 'click' for other reasons.

For other people it can be a fixation, a non-negotiable – even an obsession – to be with a partner with certain body features.

One-track minds

For some individuals, body preferences are deeply ingrained in their psyche – a fetish; the ultimate turn-on; an attraction bordering on worship.

Sleeping woman, head on pillow, dream bubble above her, man's head close to hers, looking down at her

Sarah
A successful marketing executive in her early thirties, witty, charming, with an engaging personality.  Despite these qualities, she found herself attracted only to men with a specific body type: tall, athletic, and broad-shouldered.  Her friends often teased her about her "type", but for Sarah this was how her man would have to be.

No matter how charming, successful, or intelligent a man was, she struggled to feel a romantic connection if he didn't fit her physical ideal.  In the end she found such a man, a baggage handler in an airport, and never looked back.

John
A software developer in his late twenties, he had a clear preference for women with curvy figures.  He found himself irresistibly drawn to women with hourglass shapes, regardless of their personality traits.  For John, physical attraction was a prerequisite for any romantic interest, and he admitted that it overshadowed all other considerations.

After visiting places where such women might be found, he ended up marrying a dancer at a bar.  Her past history, lack of education or employment prospects, and plain looks didn't matter because, in his eyes, he had the perfect partner.

OK, I have a great ****, now what?

That's a good question.  In most countries, if you walk around exhibiting your **** you'll be arrested.

Brunette with long hair wearing turtleneck sweater, turned to the side, indication of large bosom

Even if you are proud of your body modifications, breasts, genital features, or butt, you'll need to keep them to yourself and the few intimate partners who have the privilege of seeing them.  What a loss to humanity!  It's like having a Rembrandt hidden away in a private collector's basement.

Conventional dating sites allow only G-rated profile photos.  'Nude dating sites' are often filled with fake profiles and escorts, because few real people want to bare all on the Internet.

What if you are just a normal person who possesses unusual or desirable asset(s) and wants to use them to attract a partner, without the whole world seeing who they belong to?

That's where Barely Dating comes in.  It is a place where you can post your nudes 100% anonymously (no face or other identifying features), and let others rate them separately from your profile photos.  No one can make a connection between your nude and non-nude photos, unless you decide to reveal all to someone you match with.  Even if you never reveal your photos, your date is assured that he or she will like you when you meet.

Helping negatives become positives

Older woman with large bosom hugging young man, both wearing T-shirts

Many women have breast reductions, breast enlargement surgery, labiaplasty, vaginal rejuvenation surgery, liposuction etc. in order to look more attractive for their partners.  Similarly, men undergo penis enlargement or extension, circumcision, testicle lifts, nose jobs, and so on.

But why?

There are plenty of potential partners out there who think you look fantastic just the way you are, and in fact desire what you have!  Men who like huge breasts (or tiny breasts), large labia, experienced women, full-figured partners — and women who actually prefer a smaller, uncut penis, saggy balls, or a nose exactly like yours.

Barely Dating lets you show off what you have, and find someone who loves every bit of you rather than someone would prefer to have those bits removed!

Keep your secret desires... secret

If you're a woman who wants a man with a large endowment, whom do you tell?  Probably no one, because it's an embarrassing little secret!

It might give the wrong impression if you ask someone on a dating site, "How big is your ****?"  So you don't ask, you just hope, spend time messaging and dating him... and eventually you find out, good or bad, when things move to the bedroom.

Man and woman in bed, looking out from under blanket with shocked expressions

If it's big, great!  But what if it's tiny?  You have a choice: Forget about having what you really wanted, or end up with awkwardness ("it's not you, it's me"), heartbreak, and lots of wasted time.  Back to square one.

It's the same if you're a man who, for example, has a secret fetish for large nipples.  Whom do you tell?  How can you explain what you want?  Answer: You can't.  So how do you find such a woman?  By going on date after date hoping for the best?

At Barely Dating we solve this problem.  You can view as many ****s as you want to, anonymously: they don't know you looked, and you don't know who they belong to.  You upvote the ones you like, downvote the ones you don't, and only match with the right people.  When asked "Why did you choose me?", you can simply say "I love your smile!"  They never need to know...

But aren't you being superficial?

It goes without saying that we should seek partners who have a matching personality, similar interests, and agree on important topics such as money, children, religion, politics, health, etc.

That's not the point.

There are a million compatible partners out there with big ****s, and a million with small ones, so why waste your time on those who don't have what you want in the **** department?  Identify those with big ****s, then see which ones are compatible!

Here's an analogy.

Man with busty woman in car, man looking at woman eating carrot

George is looking for a new car.  It has to be gray, and he wants good gas mileage too.  Some gray cars get good mileage, while others don't.  Since it is possible to find a fuel-efficient gray car, why would he want to waste his time looking at red, white, or blue cars?

George finds a great car.  Now he's looking for a girlfriend to ride around with him.  She needs to have an amazing **** and be vegetarian.  Some vegetarians have amazing ****s and some don't, so why should he waste his time on those who don't?

Barely Dating is for people who have very specific physical preferences in a partner but don't want to spend years searching with no guarantee of success.

By showing what other dating sites don't let you see (everything!), the list of potential matches is narrowed down very quickly.  This can save 99% of the time and money that would otherwise be spent on messaging unsuitable matches and going on doomed dates.

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